I think I experienced a first hand omen this previous afternoon. Maybe it was coincidental or a good sign from Goddess, but something miraculous, scary, and extraordinary occurred during my wandering around a nearby town. This story is worth telling!
I was visiting a vintage shop called Cracker Jax, a beautiful shop in the heart of Dekalb, Illinois' downtown area. Cracker Jax is an avid Wiccan/Pagan supply retailer. You see, DeKalb is blissfully accepting of local Pagans compared to the town I happen to live in. Occasionally, I take a drive up to experience the thrill and warmth of a "Pagan ready" civilization to feel comfort, socialize with shopkeepers and citizens, and to check out all the savvy Pagan reads that DeKalb openly sells for discounted prices. My heart was feeling drained, for I had not visited there for several months due to focusing on my studies. I went today and I realized that Cracker Jax sells pendulums. I was utterly psyched! I had been wanting to purchase a pendulum for two years. I only got to play with one, once. My boyfriend was with me, so I decided to teach him the magickal ways of pendulum work because he was curious to know what my hype was all about.
I exhaled deeply. My eyes gazed on the clear quartz pendulum. With my inner voice, I asked, "Am I really meant to be a Pagan?" I have been pondering this question for months. The pendulum clearly stated yes. I was thrown off guard for a second. I decided to let the moment go and we decided to make our way to my friend Dan's shop, Herbal Embers that was down the street.
We made small talk with Dan as his fiancee walked by, placing new products in delicate orders to enhance the shop appearance. I strolled over to the bookshelf. All of a sudden, a title stuck out to me. The light blue cover read, "The Science of the Craft: Modern Realities in the Ancient Art of Witchcraft" by William H. Keith. A feeling rushed over me. Something about this book was crucial and I needed to sit on the leather couch to investigate the mysteries that laid within the pages. I took a quick glimpse at the Table of Contents. Titles such as, "Swimming the Quantum Seas", "Something From Nothing", and more science-related titles were on the page. I started reading bits and pieces of Keith's introduction. Immediately, I was startled; I was very startled in an incredible, fantastic way.
After enduring a growing spiritual path of many trials and errors, I had been digging deep within mysef to figure out if I felt I truly held Wiccan beliefs. My mind was boggled over the concept of magick. Could that be real? Is this a cult thirsty stereotypical theory out there that exists? Is "magick" a secretive reference to the "Hollywood magic" in movies? Also, persistent prolonged grief over losing my first childhood dog, Cody, had paralyzed me since he passed away in February of 2013. A huge rush of death anxiety took over me. This death anxiety has resurfaced greatly and has haunted me for many nights. I've been feeling like it is purely impossible for an afterlife to exist, yet alone for the probability that a Divine Source could exist. This started making me question myself heavily. Am I really a Pagan, or am I so in love with the label that I'm denying my own truth to protect my real feelings? I've looked at Quantum Physics and the Consciousness Theory to try to find solace and a more rational perspective on spiritual faith. This splendid book discusses how modern day science coexists with modern day Wicca or Witchcraft, something my heart, mind, and spirit has thirsted for so long to find. I feel that maybe the pendulum told me I am meant to be a Pagan and that I still am a Pagan at heart. I feel that the pendulum was also telling me that a new path of self discovery in my Eclectic tradition would be nearing the corner (literally!). And so, Eddie willingly purchased the book. It has everything I need that may give me that rational and scientific approach to my faith. I'm growing into a follower of Science and Spirituality, and this is what I need to heal and grow in spirit. I cannot wait to start analyzing the text.
Omens do appear.