Hello!
Let me give you some stand up comedy. One night, many years ago, I went stumbling over Ebay just for the hell of it and I landed on some intriguing posts related to witchcraft. Those pages read statements like, "Purchase one free Spell trial for this month; my magick is well trusted and WORKS! Contact me and tell me what type of spell you need casted, and if you're satisfied, purchase a full three spell session deal with metoday!!"
This is too ridiculous.
This is too fucking ridiculous. But, for my fellow readers, I should give this topic the benefit of the doubt before I fall off my chair and cry from laughter.
Money. How much do I have? No, wait. Don't ask me those types of questions. I'll turn the question around; how much money would you spend to have a "professional" psychic or Witch cast a spell for you?
I'll answer! I'd give her -$1200.99 of my bank account to promote her "high rated" "services" in the "I'm A Witch With Magick So Give Me Your Money" industry. That's right. Let's see how well this newborn industry climbs the Internet service ladder. I bet it'll sky rocket up to an enchanted planet called "Eat My Bullshit" and thrive.
Have you ever stumbled across anything like this? It doesn't matter what website, but have you? Well, I sure have. My opinion is well formed.
YOU DON'T NEED THESE SERVICES, PEOPLE! I'm telling you. Don't be too impatient for the next full moon's arrival to cast your wish spell. There's a better alternative; put your cash in your pants (No, not literally. I mean pockets, damn it) and rewrite your spell so it can be performed during a closer moon phase. Now, I know what you're thinking. There are two forms of "good" online merchandise and "bad" online merchandise for Pagan practices. That holds to be genuinely true. For the sake of this controversial debate, I'm referring to the "bad" services, otherwise known as the silly people that claim they can wave a wand to fix your life's problems. I need to explain this crucial shit before I have people going off on me.
The "Good" Services
These are the websites that are linked to occult, metaphysical, and holistic stores that physically exist. Branching a website to the business is realistic. They can help new customers from different areas to shop for the supplies they don't have access to where they live. Also, there are some legit Pagan shops on the Web that sell actual products, like fresh herbs, herb bags, crystals, nonfiction books, New Age music, clothing, alter decoration, and everything else under the honest moon.
The "Bad" Services
Get ready to do some crazy Ebay searches. There are many trolls online that claim they would gladly cast a desired spell for you....with a monetary charge! This is where common sense should kick in. A spell is best made if it's written and performed by the practitioner under their heart and intention. A motivated Pagan is capable of handling that. Those lively "achieved casters" out there are looking for instant cash. They are most likely spiritual assholes that don't even do what you've asked them to do. These methods of making bank are cheesy, unreasonable, and I feel are immoral toward Pagan practices. We are capable of addressing our own needs through natural worship. I don't think I'll sleep tonight from thinking about all the weird shit I saw when I was younger from these strange human beings.
And, no, I would not like to buy your spell to reunite with my non-existent lover.
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