My Confessional: I've Been Keeping A Secret...

Hello and blessings, everyone...

This is going to be a lengthy update post. Once again, life slapped me in the face. I'm not going to list out all the reasons for why I've been on a hiatus yet again, but I will also not be able to promise that I'll return to regular postings yet due to the fact I have been under a heavily tense situation for the last seven or so weeks of my life. I've been forced to truly reflect and focus on myself, my goals, and what my seemingly uncertain future holds personally and as a writer. Surely soon enough, you will understand my major reason for this absence.

I have been silently lying to all that may come across my content.

I have a secret. A huge secret in regards to my Pagan practices that I have been yearning to expose on this blog for quite some time. Due to personal circumstances, I could not dare to risk publishing it out to the world to see and bear. It is at this time I have decided that it is time to be honest with any readers I may still gain, or to anyone that stumbles across my work that finds an interest in exploring my posts. I have lied to you all, silently and reluctantly. As I now begin to finally embrace my spiritual self wholeheartedly, I am desperately eager to make this transition with my content. This blog has been tainted, twisted from the ultimate truths of my own spiritual life that may help or encourage others. Guilt strikes me. I only buried it away to protect myself, both physically and emotionally from struggles. But the struggles became a reality, and the lying has ceased to exist...to my family, my friends, and everyone I associate with within the Pagan community and outside of it.

I will have to make a mini "Confessionals" series of posts to update you on the entire story. It is too long to squeeze into one post. While I slowly begin to work on writing these posts out, I will be throwing in unrelated content. I have gained much more knowledge since my last post. I think taking some time away overall will help you all due to the wisdom I've gained. I will also be working on establishing myself more in the Pagan community, online and offline.

Be prepared for a wild ride. I will try to upload the Confessionals on a consistent basis. Also, I will be putting this website under further construction to improve your visit here. As for the unrelated posts, these are some topics you can expect to appear here in the next week or so. I will be uploading content regularly within the next week for sure. Here are the topics as follows:

1) Introducing my Christian friend into the world of witchcraft: how that went, how you can educate your Christian loved ones, and so forth.

2) Creating Flying Ointment.

3) Making a Medicine Bag, spell/ritual writing tips, surviving your Year And A Day experience, etc.)

4) My Samhain ritual and how to improve your Sabbat rituals. 

Until then, please take care and I promise you that when the Confessionals are finally published, there WILL be a Midnight Candle Youtube channel I plan on starting to make this content more accessible for those of you that don't have much time to read posts. The YouTube channel will be a project I'll be slowly gravitating towards in the next six months, but I'll leave updates when I can about it's progress.

I'm Back And Better Than Ever! An Update And A Return Message!

Hello, my dear readers and followers!

I am very excited to announce that I have made the decision to return to writing Midnight Candle. There has been a void in my heart without it. I know I last posted many months ago, but I hope some of you will at least will return and maybe some new folks will join us, too. I think I left due to needing to expand my own personal spirituality before I could feel obligated to write more. And yes, this I have achieved.

There's a new twist to my spiritual story. I am now practicing as a Shamanic Witch, and indeed, I have found my first in-person group to celebrate, learn from, and explore with. My group meets in my local Pagan store (that will be in another post) and we all come together for drum circles once a month under the enchanted light of the full moon. There is nothing like the serenity that comes to my spirit when we pass our burning sage around. It's almost as if the serenity is an ingredient in such a peace-giving plant. I am extremely happy to be a part of a very small, yet loyal spiritual group. Our group is still in dire need to extend its members, but anyone is always welcome as they should be.

During the several months I was gone, I took it upon myself to continue using my Oracle cards. I picked up on learning more about herbalism. Finally, I've started to make loose leaf tea blends to accompany my growth. I have fallen in love with Mugwort's profound ability to enhance my dreams. That I can explain more in detail later! Spiritually speaking, I've evolved. With that evolving process, I have the capability to bring you more interesting content, inspiration, and things to learn. I hope you can join me in this spiritual evolution and use my fuel as inspiration to evolve your own practices and beliefs.

Also, I have evolved emotionally and academically. I've been struggling with depression and OCD. That may have interfered with my writing of this blog. I've been back on antidepressants for several months and am feeling able to do things again. I also enrolled in my college's massage therapy program. I hope to use my passion for spirituality to incorporate into my future massage practice. When school comes around, life will get hectic again, but this time I feel I can persevere. This is just a brief update. I don't want to keep you long. To all my old and new followers, here is a big thank you. I've seen that this blog STILL gets pageviews on a weekly basis. Thank you, thank you, and thank you! :) I couldn't have been more blessed for that. I will be back with some interesting content!

Oracle And Tarot: Tonight's Session

This post is without a doubt dedicated to my good friend, Ally, who re-introduced me to the practice of oracles and tarot cards tonight! I thought it'd be fun to share what our reading session was like with all of you lovely, wonderful, and beautiful readers out there!

Ally enthusiastically drove us out to her favorite coffee shop. When we arrived, she rushed to the counter, ordered two coffees (They were straight up espresso shots. It was great!), and showed me over to a comfy black leather couch and together we sat. I watched as she took out her brand new "House of Night" tarot cards, dedicated to the Greek Goddess of night, Nyx. My eyes were stuck on the dark theme. The pictures were wonderful and conveyed the messages well. Taking a sip of fine espresso, Ally tugged out the cards and we began. I won't be mentioning every question we asked, because that would take about an hour of your precious time.

You see, Ally was extremely close to her late grandmother until she left this world in 2011. Her grandmother's death has always taken a huge emotional toll on her, and she sometimes can sense when her grandmother is around guiding her. We were sitting there in the shop, fiddling around with the glorious pack of cards, asking a diversity of questions about our lives and analyzing them like geeks analyze their homework. She took her next round, as we called it, and she pulled out a card and nervously placed it facing downward on the coffee table in front of us. She flipped it over and I watched a stream of emotion dominate her face. The card said "Love."

"Your face, dude! What did you ask?" I eagerly asked.

"I asked my grandma if she is proud of everything I've done so far." Ally said, laughing about how she didn't want to cry in public. I had two interesting rounds. My first question was related to my death anxiety and questioning if there's an afterlife. I asked, "How can I find out if there might be an afterlife?" I shuffled the cards, chose the one that stuck out to me, and flipped it upward on the table. The image was of a beautiful waterfall with a young woman. It said, "Letting Go."

I am diagnosed with OCD, and if I get anxious about something, my mind clings to it for months on end. This happened when we found out my family's dog, Cody, was diagnosed with a few months left to live. When I heard the news, I became anxious and obsessive over if I'd ever see him again when my time comes. The card called "Letting Go" said something about me needing to let it stop clinging to me so I can find peace instead of worrying about an answer I will probably never get. My loved ones have told me to let it go in the past. I did get a bit emotional, but I found the card's answer to be amazingly accurate. The next question I asked was related to a once chaotic relationship that is now (what seems to be) a healthy friendship. Several things have gone on with that individual lately that makes me question their credibility. So, I asked, "What can I expect my relationship [with them] to be?" I shuffled the cards and my answer was "Chaos." I was instantly startled. The card warned me to find shelter within a storm that may be arriving with that said person. Ally and I laughed it off a bit as she constantly said my name should be Captain Obvious.

When we packed up and left, we got in the car and drove off to a local grocery store and picked up some soda and milk for her parents. We instantly started up another round of tarot before we said goodbye for the night. Overall, it was an interesting point of perspective I received about some things in my life. If you haven't tried tarot, I highly recommend considering it. I'm off to watch some Netflix and relax for the rest of my night. Thank you for reading and I hope to write again very soon!